work and sleep
Posted: October 28, 2011 Filed under: Home Life Leave a comment »Being in receipt of benefits is quite hard work especially when it means that anything I do or am asked to do has to be as a volunteer as my spouse is still unwaged after 8 months and if I decided to take pay for the work I could neither support us nor legally do so unless we relinquished our benefits in which case we’d lose the house. And I simply do not seem to be an attractive prospect to possible employers. I have been shortlisted once in the last 6 months and have applied for an average of one job a week. This may sound like a feeble effort but I look for work every day and the jobs are few and far between and I simply am not prepared to work away from home (not that there are prospects to do so). So last week I was called to an interview at the job centre. The woman interviewing me was pleasant enough as she explained to me that our benefits would be cut if I didn’t show a willingness to work. I felt too tired to justify myself or discuss the voluntary work I do as a writer, or the editing or my own writing – or the 6 children I’m looking after and the elderly parents John and I support. The worst thing about it is the feeling that there’s just no point in trying any more. I’m tired of worrying about how we’re going to pay the next phone bill or afford a new pair of shoes for the kids. And I’m tired of being told that I undersell myself. It’s what happens after years of people expecting you to do work for nothing and being offended when you say you can’t carry on. If anyone out there has a job for a diligent writer/poet with lots of experience working with people with mental health support needs, dementia and brain injury – with fundraising and management experience – with editing and teaching experience. Please let me know. All reasonable offers considered including opportunities to read. And I’ve started thinking about rationing sleep in a more structured way – perhaps I could become a short order chef at night – but I don’t think the rates of pay are worth the sleep deprivation……..
